“It is so lovely to meet you. I am looking forward to hearing a lot more about your life, family, friends, career and interests.”
Before you take this as an open invitation to tell me absolutely every boring detail about your life (TMI), let me tell you what I don’t want to know about you.
TMI = Too much information.
Problems that you have with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, parents
Every lady needs to have one or two long-standing personal friends who become confidants. We all need someone to share our innermost problems. Unless I am one of them, I do not want to know that you suspect your partner is cheating on you, that your best friend said something behind your back or that your mother was a drunk. It will make me feel uncomfortable and I will not know what to say in return.
Your health and weight issues
I am not your doctor and I do not want to be placed in a situation which requires me to give you sympathy. I would need to know you a lot better before you confide such information to me. If you can’t eat that piece of cake then politely turn it down, rather than telling me of your latest weight struggles. Should you need to take certain medications, then please excuse yourself to tend to your needs, or I will feel obliged to inquire as to your health.
However, if I am the hostess of an intimate event, you should advise me in advance of any dietary requirements. This will allow me to be a good hostess. You will make me feel bad if you just sit there, not eating, because the food is inedible for you.
I know you love your kids, but…
I don’t want to know that little Jimmy has finally become toilet-trained, or that you were up all night with him because of diarrhea. This can often be a difficult one for many mothers because they are giving their attention to their children twenty-four hours a day, and don’t have much of a life apart from their children. If you find that you have become one of these tedious women then try to add some things to your life that are not children-related. Read a newspaper, take up a hobby, or get involved in a community activity. You can keep your tales about little Jimmy for a mothers group which you should join.
Your latest purchases
I don’t want you to make me feel inadequate with your boasting about your latest purchases. Some women just can’t help this because they value themselves by the amount of possessions they own. These women expect that others will make such value judgments as well. This type of talk does not impress me, but only serves to show me how materialistic you are. If you are blessed with wealth, then do me the favor of being discrete about it. This is the biggest difference between a wealthy woman and a true lady.
The Trinity of TMI – Politics, Sex, and Religion
This one can be a little tricky as most family dynamics usually enjoy one of the above as regular conversation. While every person should be free to dictate what is talked about in their own home, this does not follow that all other families openly discuss politics, sex, or religion. In fact, you will usually find that one of these is freely discussed while another is taboo. My family can talk a bit bawdy at times, but would never raise the topics of politics or religion. I have also spent time with people who openly discuss politics and believe that we should all do so. The only problem with that is believing that EVERYONE should be the same.
As a general rule, you will be less likely to offend other people if you restrain from the trinity of tmi – politics, sex and religion.
If you feel as though I haven’t given you anything to talk to me about… try reading CONVERSATION: THE SEVEN GOLDEN RULES
“There are many wonderful things that we can share together. By staying away from these ‘no-go’ subjects, we can enjoy each others company without feeling uncomfortable.”
Do you have topics that are discussed freely in your own home, but that you don’t openly share with others?
Share your experiences in the comments section below
