Typical Conversation Starters…
“Yesterday, I did blah, blah, blah..”
“My child said blah, blah, blah..”
“I saw blah, blah, blah on the TV.”
The reason that good conversation starters are lacking in our modern times is that we have become lazy and self-absorbed. We much prefer to talk about ourselves than discuss something which may be of interest to the other person.
Skilled in the art of conversation
There is something special, though, when you meet someone who is skilled in the art of conversation. They raise topics that are interesting and thought provoking. You are often excited to meet and talk with them because you feel invigorated when you are talking with them. Good communication livens the mind and spirit. It does not leave you walking away thinking that you wished you never asked how her weekend went.
The best conversation starters are ones that will get the other person talking about themselves. You can then rest back and become the attentive listener. It goes without saying that these conversation topic hints will be focused on the person that you are talking to, in a way to make them feel comfortable enough to open up to you.
Conversation starters should generally be in the form of a question or an observation. This is how you show that you are interested in what they have to say, rather than just wanting them to stand there while you talk.
- Compliments: Compliment something they do or something that have, rather than someone they are. If you say that you love their handbag, then the conversation can continue onto where did they buy the handbag, but complimenting their smile doesn’t leave the conversation anywhere to go. It is important to be sincere in your flattery. There is something amazing about everyone.
- Opinions: Ask for their opinion on something. It doesn’t need to be something deep and intellectual. It can be as simple as “The decor here is lovely, don’t you think?” People will jump to tell you what they like and don’t like.
- Movies that you have seen or would like to see: This is usually something that many people have in common. Most people watch movies or TV, and you can usually find some sort of common ground here. If they don’t watch TV, it gives you an opportunity to talk to them about the benefits of not watching TV.
- Interests and hobbies: People will love to tell you about things that they are interested in. You can normally find out their interests by asking them what they do on the weekends. You can then ask questions to get them to talk more about their interests and hobbies.
- Countries or places that they have visited: This is a great way for you to learn more about the world, by asking other people what adventures they have had.
- Talk about other people: This is not an invitation to become gossip, but people that you may jointly know are a great way to start a conversation if you are able to say something positive about them, and related to the reason that you are there. For example, if you are wanting to start a conversation with someone at John’s birthday party, now is not the time to say “Isn’t it marvelous how John has handled his divorce?” You may perhaps say “Isn’t John looking great for his age? How does he do it?”
You will have some great conversations if you can remember that your goal should be to get the other person to do the most talking and to feel comfortable. Another advantage of having this skill to hand is that if the person shows zero interest in your life and talks too much about their self, then you are best to “mingle” and move on.
What are some great conversation starter tips?
Share your experiences in the comments section below