Have you ever heard of the skill of Civilized Conversation?
Enjoying Civilized conversation
It’s a rare thing these days to see a group of people talking about a variety of topics in a way that is uplifting, respectful, and educational. However, most attempts at conversation using spiral into abuse, debate, and degradation. Quite normal stuff for the internet, bit it wasn’t always so. Above all, it needn’t be so.
Civilized Communication isn’t taught in class, but it does have lots of rules. Where do you learn this skill?
Most parents struggle to be civil with each other, let alone teach their children how to talk in a way that develops communion and positive discussion between people.
Our parents have most likely tried to share a rule here and there with us, at times when we were way too emotional to process the teaching. I remember that I was told as a child “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.” It was always easier to be silent.
It’s okay if you don’t know the rules of how to communicate in a civilized way. There are a million reasons why we fail to learn a particular life skill, and this is a particularly handy one to have.
Conversation Etiquette is the soft padding that allows us to bounce about in our life without bruising those people around us. We should always be free to be truly ourselves without colliding into and damaging those with whom we interact.
The Seven Golden Rules of Communication
- Civilized Conversation is not a debate. The goal is to work together to build upon pre-existing knowledge and understandings.
- Active Listening. Be present and give encouragements when necessary.
- Be forgiving of our differences. We all have the right to different perspectives and experiences.
- Back and forth, give and take. In other words, allow people to share their view s too.
- No criticism or judgement. Above all, focus on positive topics.
- Be on the lookout for bad habits which can creep in, such as self-criticism, self-aggrandising, and catastophizing.
- Genuinely care about the person with whom you are communicating. Fake people look fake.
I am concerned that we are at risk of forgetting how to engage in Civilized Conversation. Whereas Business Communication (where nothing is said) and Social Media Communication (where everything is said) have their place, nothing is as invigorating and stimulating as quality civilized conversation, with its rules, security, and dignity of spirit.
